Writer Vixen Explains It All

How Men & Women Date

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C'mon, admit it — you're dying to know exactly how men decide who to date versus how women decide. Maxim (of course!) has the answer. 

One thing you can always count on Maxim for is stupid fun — in this case, in equal portions.

 

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

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With props to Glamour magazine's "Ask Jake," from whom I've frequently taken advice myself . . .

I can't remember where I first saw this. If anybody knows, leave me a comment. ;)

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Twittering vixenish things @WriterVixen

What Do Women Want?

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“The great question that I have not yet been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, is, What does a woman want?” —Sigmund Freud

A century has passed and Freud’s famous query still echoes. Men ponder it in terms of what women want in a man (of course) and they’re pretty sure it’s confidence, honesty and communication.

Dell thinks women want laptops in pretty colors wrapped up with calorie counters and cooking videos masquerading as “tech tips.”

Google claims there are over 13,000,000 answers to the question, “What do women want?”

Honestly, so much ado over such a simple thing! It will take me 10 seconds to explain it all. Are you ready?

HERE'S WHAT WOMEN WANT

We want

What we want

When we want it.

Come on . . . you kinda knew that, right? This knowledge has been passed down since the time of the Round Table. The knights, not the pizza.

The Updating Game

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By Gail Collins

This entertaining piece by the fabulous Op-Ed columnist Gail Collins ran in The New York Times on 8/28/09.

There was a time when people in search of a full and meaningful life were advised to start off each morning by telling themselves: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.”

Now, we get up and hear: “Updates are ready for your computer.”

It’s depressing to realize that my computer is more bent on self-improvement than I am. At home, my laptop is so ready to update that it can barely be constrained. The other day, I found three different pleas floating around on the screen.

The “Dell Support Center Automatic Upgrade” was the most tempting since it sounded as if the computer wanted to give me a really good seat on a plane.

“Effective now,” the announcement continued, “these valuable messages are part of the new Dell Support Center. Dell needs to upgrade Dell Support without impeding system performance so that messages continue to be received.”

In other words, I need an upgrade so that I will better be able to receive more upgrade requests in the future. This is extremely important to my laptop, which is only offering me the response options of: More Details, Start Upgrade or Remind Me Later.

Imaginary Bitches (A Review)

Best of Writer Vixen

Originally published for "Zeitgeist: Quirkyalone Pop Culture" on Quirkyalone.net.

Choosing to remain single in a coupled world is sometimes a lonely gig, never more so than when all of your close friends are smugly cocooned in their couple-bubbles. It can make you feel like the last single person on Earth.

As once-single friends morph into couples, it often becomes irritatingly apparent that they no longer understand the challenges or perspectives of singledom. You sometimes feel like hitting them over the head, yet you still love them and yearn for common ground to maintain your friendships. This painful conflict is played out to hilarious effect in the engaging Web series Imaginary Bitches.

Eden is the last single girl in her circle of friends, refusing to compromise her standards simply to have a boyfriend. After an amazing date with a guy she really likes, Eden calls each of her friends to share her exciting news, but they’re only interested in talking about their relationships. Increasingly dispirited with each aborted call, Eden discovers, to her astonishment, that she has conjured an imaginary friend named Catherine—a friend who’s avidly interested in discussing all the details of Eden's date.

But Catherine proves to be less a “friend” than a total bitch, with lots of nasty things to say about Eden and all of her real girlfriends.That's right, Eden herself is not exempt from Catherine's bitchiness. Furthermore, Catherine is soon joined by a second imaginary bitch named Heather. The imaginary bitches quickly establish their presence in all of Eden’s relationships, leaving her to deal with the fallout even as they help her sort out her friendships and her love life.