With props to Glamour magazine's "Ask Jake," from whom I've frequently taken advice myself . . .
I can't remember where I first saw this. If anybody knows, leave me a comment. ;)
_______________________________Twittering vixenish things @WriterVixen
One of the keys to personal happiness (and to having fun) is being truly, deeply, flagrantly ourselves. In fact, liberating the best and truest version of ourselves in every moment. The struggle is that we're constantly tempted to adjust who we are—if not sacrifice it altogether—to obtain the approval of others.
This is always a colossal waste of time and energy. Not only is it impossible to please everyone else (or sometimes, to please anyone) but it's a kind of casual self-betrayal that accumulates and accrues over a lifetime.
It's true: The greatest gift we can give ourselves, and the world, is just to relax and be who we are—no negotiation, no regrets. Just be yourself and you'll be fine.
Cindi breaks it down:
I always have to remind myself: You're not just given a good voice. You're not just given the ability to articulate what you feel.
You're also given who you are. And who you are is part of your instrument.
And the people who raise you, they're part of your instrument. And your surroundings are also your gift and your muse.
It took me a long time to realize all of that.
— Cyndi Lauper, 2007, Live . . . at Last
_______________________________
Twittering vixenish things @WriterVixen
Dear Vixen:
Sleep. I stay up all night. I don't get sleepy until 4:00, don't FALL asleep until 5:00 and then I get up at 1 or 2 in the afternoon. This would not be a problem EXCEPT . . . I am missing out on auditions (I'm an actress) because I can't haul my a** out of bed!
How can I get on a more, uh, “responsible" daytime schedule? I've been on owl-time since college. But now it is screwing up my career. Help!— Literally Sleepless in Seattle
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People will tell you that the world is divided into dog people and cat people. Or into optimists and pessimists. Or into iPhone enthusiasts and BlackBerry lovers.
Those people are wrong.
There are really only two types of people in the world: early birds and night owls. While early birds are perky and annoying, it’s a well-known fact that night owls are artistic and highly creative. Don’t ask me to cite my sources—obvious truths don't require substantiation!
Dear Vixen:
How far would you go for someone that you love, whether that person be a sibling, a parent, a lover, or a close friend? Would you love someone so much that you give them as much love as you want to give even though you know that their love for you may not be as strong?
I think it's safe to say that most people feel that they would never love someone more than they can get back. I used to say that but I've recently realized that I'm not getting as much love back as I'm putting in with more than one of my relationships.
I love my father more than he loves me or is willing to admit but I still give him all that I can give.
My friends are important to me and I treat them as such, but I'm also sure that I am being taken for granted.
I've been in love with a wonderful man for the past year and a half. It's recently come to my attention that he's realized that he's still in love with his ex. He doesn't believe that he will get back together with her, but it hurts to know that I don't completely have his heart.
True fact: I have an opinion on just about everything.
It’s also true that I’m not shy about sharing my opinions with other people, even if they haven’t yet realized that they’re dying to know what I think. In fact, it’s often those who fail to ask who most clearly need the benefit of my extraordinary insights. So how can I resist when someone actually asks for my opinion on a personal dilemma?
Although this isn’t technically an advice column, I’m happy to give it a try. Lucy van Pelt doled out psychiatric advice to Charlie Brown for “5 cents please,” so 25 cents seems about right when adjusted for inflation. In the spirit of the Writer Vixen motto (“Often wrong but never in doubt”), I offer the following questionable advice with complete conviction. No refunds.
